Do you need a canine for your next film. If I don't already have what you are looking for I can get it
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Dear Craig
I came across your ad and I feel as though you might be just the individual to assist me. I am not making a film, but I am in need of a dog trainer, and I will pay handsomely for your help in an elaborate hoax that I am enacting on my roommate Lenny. For the past 2 years I have been setting the stage for Lenny's dog Carmine to be outed as a homosexual. I dress Carmine in pink bandannas, I make comments regarding the way he chews his bones, I suggest he play with poodles at the dog park, etc. All of which has made Lenny very suspicious and apprehensive that my allegations maybe true. Now that I have Lenny concerned and suspicious about the sexual orientation of Carmine, I feel it's time we take this prank to the next level, and that's where you come in. I am interested in paying you to train Carmine to grind and gyrate on other male dogs. This may require the training of an additional dog who must learn to tolerate Carmine's gyrations. Please understand that due to moral and possible legal issues, I am not suggesting that the two dogs actually copulate, I am merely concerned with them preforming actions that will be perceived as copulation. Before you make your decision, please realize that I am 100% sincere, and I understand that your compensation will most likely come at an inflated price due to the nature of this training. To better understand my motivation, I will tell you that Lenny and myself have spent years tirelessly enacting pranks on one another, and my hand has been super glued to 2 different sets of genitals in the past year. This prank is extremely important to me. Please help.
Your Friend
Tug
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