Wallyworld

Hello! I'm a college student doing a research study on Wal-Mart employees.
I would love to have some volunteers to interview through e-mail.
If you would be able to spare a tiny bit of time, I'd love to get your opinions and learn about your experiences working at Wal-Mart.
This will in no way endanger your employment for this is purely for academic purposes. Also, because I am a student, there is no monetary compensation that I can offer you.
Thank you for reading this and I hope to hear from you!
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Dear Craig

I am interested in partaking in your research study. I believe I will find it stimulating and rewarding to convey my feelings and personal experiences during my tenure at the Superstore. I enjoy the irony of your topic, the way you exploit the working poor for our story and offer no compensation as you righteously attempt to defame the evil conglomerate who you will undoubtly attack for their unfair wage practices...Praise the Lord that we, the underclass, have a valiant young scholar such as yourself taking up our flag and fighting this selfless fight.

Forever indebted to the generosity of your Father's tuition check,

Tug
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Tug,
Hello. You e-mailed me about the ad on craigslist. First of all, I work at Wal-Mart. And love it. Please don't make assumptions about what I believe or think.
I am not trying to exploit the working poor as I happen to be one of them and am paying all my own tuition. Again, please don't make assumptions.
All I am trying to do is talk to some fellow employees about their experiences at their work. That's all.
If you're interested, e-mail me back. If not, have a good day.
-L
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Dear Craig

You snotty nosed rich bastard riding into the Halls of Academia on the white steed that is your father's trust fund. Oh how high and mightly you do preach as you attempt to project yourself, a Prince, into this pauper's shoes. But I see through you. The only assumptions being made is you assuming that I cannot see the wolf cloaked in sheep's garments. Meet me in women's undergarments tomorrow at 3:30 to further discuss.

Tug