True Men Don't Kill Coyotes

I have more chili pepper stuff and wanted to be able to show pics, so I am using another listing.
1) Multiple chili pepper pictures. All are in matching hardwood frames with matting of either red or green $8.00 each - please see pictures.
2) Chili pepper canister set - color is orange with black/green chili peppers on them. Set of 3 - bought at Kohl's. - $20.00 for set of 3 - see picture below.
3) Chili pepper serving tray with chili pepper handles - very unique - matches canister set - bought at Kohl's - paid $25.00- asking $15.00 - Clay Art.
4) Chili pepper spoon rest - $5.00
If you want more pics or info, please reply to e-mail. Thank you for looking!

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Dear Craig

That is very nice chilli pepper stuff you have. I noticed that you said you have more, and I was wondering how much more. I am an avid Chilli Peppers fan, I even named my dog Fleadis, it's a mix of Flea and Anthony Keadis. So I am always looking out for Red Hot Chilli Pepper swag. Do you have any autographed pics of the Chilli Peppers wearing socks on their dongs? Or possibly the actual socks that were placed on said dongs? I am also looking for a VHS cassette tape of a 1995 RHCP preformance where the band plays a funkdafied version of Huey Lewis' classic "Back in Time" from the motion picture "Back to the Future", also they preform the whole concert wearing socks on their dongs, its classic. Have you ever seen those chilli pepper christmas lights that you put on your christmas tree? I put those inside my van and hard wired them to my cigarette lighter, then I put them on a decibal synchronized flasher so they blink to the beat of "Fight Like a Brave", I figured someone like you would appreciate that. We should hang sometime or maybe check out a show. You could proof read the novel I'm working on it's title "Chad Smith is not my Doppleganger: The Definitive Argument as to why Chad Smith and Will Ferrell are not the same Dude". Anyways get back at me with the info on your additional RHCP paraphernlia. And lemme know if you wanna come hang under the bridge with me later.

Suck my Kiss
Tug

Susan Bottom'sup

Customers often ask us if we carry the Famous "Sex-o-Pedic" Mattress

Unfortuantely we do not carry the "sex-o-pedic" mattress line, but .....
We do have a wide varitey of mattresses from Carolina Mattress Guild, Simmons Beautyrest and Symbol in Stock.
A Great Day.....starts with a better nights sleep....
A good day starts with a great night's sleep. That is why choosing the right bed should be an integral part of a healthy lifestyle. You will spend more than a third of your life in bed,
so doesn't it make sense to invest in a sleep solution that will enhance your sleep and your health?
So whether you prefer very firm or very plush or something in between, Symbol® offers you the choice of back-friendly,
sleep enhancing beds for your healthy lifestyle. Choose from a variety of premium comfort layers (visco memory foam, latex,
convoluted toppers, fiber pads, ultraloft fiber) over support systems (Omalon foam cores, enclosed coil springs, coil innersprings)
to give you the comfort plus support that is needed for today's active individual.
A Great Day.....starts with a better nights sleep
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Dear Craig

Everyday I search craigslist in an attempt to find a local vendor who carries the "sex-o-pedic" mattress, and for 6 months I have continually found myself empty handed. Heck, I myself, may be one of the inquiries you are referring to in your ad, as I have launched an aggressive e-mail campaign to mattress dealers in the tri-state area in attempt to find a sex-o-pedic model "Jam Driver Supreme" within driving distance from my home. I have been met with disappointment at every turn, however on Feb 23 as I half-heartedly searched sexopedic in the craigslist search box, I almost fell out of my suspended sex-sling as your ad graced my screen, giving me hope that I may soon possess a "Jam Driver Supreme." Yet, much to my disgust, you're ad was full of false hopes and dashed dreams, as you are not truly a certified sex-o-pedic dealer. Please Sir, I ask that you cease and desist these bait and switch tactics. If you infact can provide me with a "Jam Driver Supreme" with duraglide shock absorbers and oscilating hydraulic lifters, or perhaps a model "Susan Bottoms Up" and mounted stirrups with removable visqueen cover slip for easy clean up, then I would be most appreciative. However if you cannot produce said items, I will be forced to relay your false ads to sex-o-pedic's parent company, Walt Disney Inc.

Regards
Tug

Wallyworld

Hello! I'm a college student doing a research study on Wal-Mart employees.
I would love to have some volunteers to interview through e-mail.
If you would be able to spare a tiny bit of time, I'd love to get your opinions and learn about your experiences working at Wal-Mart.
This will in no way endanger your employment for this is purely for academic purposes. Also, because I am a student, there is no monetary compensation that I can offer you.
Thank you for reading this and I hope to hear from you!
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Dear Craig

I am interested in partaking in your research study. I believe I will find it stimulating and rewarding to convey my feelings and personal experiences during my tenure at the Superstore. I enjoy the irony of your topic, the way you exploit the working poor for our story and offer no compensation as you righteously attempt to defame the evil conglomerate who you will undoubtly attack for their unfair wage practices...Praise the Lord that we, the underclass, have a valiant young scholar such as yourself taking up our flag and fighting this selfless fight.

Forever indebted to the generosity of your Father's tuition check,

Tug
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Tug,
Hello. You e-mailed me about the ad on craigslist. First of all, I work at Wal-Mart. And love it. Please don't make assumptions about what I believe or think.
I am not trying to exploit the working poor as I happen to be one of them and am paying all my own tuition. Again, please don't make assumptions.
All I am trying to do is talk to some fellow employees about their experiences at their work. That's all.
If you're interested, e-mail me back. If not, have a good day.
-L
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Dear Craig

You snotty nosed rich bastard riding into the Halls of Academia on the white steed that is your father's trust fund. Oh how high and mightly you do preach as you attempt to project yourself, a Prince, into this pauper's shoes. But I see through you. The only assumptions being made is you assuming that I cannot see the wolf cloaked in sheep's garments. Meet me in women's undergarments tomorrow at 3:30 to further discuss.

Tug

the Houston Fart Record

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Technologies

So Ask.com is mostly kids trying to get their homework done in a hurry...I'm here help.

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Effeminate Sharks

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Sweet Home Chicago

I will be leaving Columbus on February 16 around 7am. Taking riders who can pay their share of gas, tolls. I'll be going through Indianapolis, Gary etc... I'll consider off-route stops too if you help with the fuel, but we'd need to leave earlier probably.
Me, 20s male,
No racists, sexists, stupid nonsense, good conversation is nice too.
Also, I'll be coming back on the 27th through chicago
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Craig

Boy am I glad I found you. I need to get to Chicago and my car is on the fritz. I have gas money and I have a shortcut map that skips all toll roads so that should be worth something, also I can pack us some egg-salad samiches, as long as we can keep the windows cracked. We should probably leave earlier because I would like to make a pit stop in Owensboro Ky and try to find my biological parents, I have to try and reunite them. See my mom was a dumb bimbo, so my ol man ran off with some ethnic slut, but now I got this old polaroid picture of all of us and my image is starting to disappear, you know like I was never born, so this Professor that I know told me that if my folks don't get back together I'll probably vanish. I can tell you more on the ride to Owensboro. I've attached a photo so you know what my mom looks like, just incase you see her while we're driving.

Bless you
Tug

Lenny Tits and the Magic Dragons

Our friend and guest writer Leonard Titacus hits a home run on this one
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We have a large craved wooden dragon, has Turquoise stones in toes, originally paid $450.00 for asking $100.00 in good condition.
this is a large dragon 23 inches tall.
Also have medium craved wooden dragon, originally paid $300.00 for asking $75.00 in good condition, this dragon is 13 inches tall. This dragon does not have stones on it.

PLEASE CALL *** *** **** or *** *** **** TO SEE DRAGONS

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Dear Craig,

I am a dragon lover I think that these examples of dragon art are exquisite.  I was wondering if you could clear up a detail or two.  First in the smaller example, the dragon without the stones, are the stones missing due to something like a jewel thief or are they simply never had any jewels.  How much do these dragons weigh?  Are they very fragile?  Did you purchase these dragons from a dragon art dealer?  Are jewels in the larger dragon very valuable?
 You seem like you have some really good dragon deals, its not everday I come across a $450 and a $300 dragon for $175.  I am really excited to find out the answers to my questions. 

Do you have and other dragon art or maybe even Lord of the Rings or Dungeons and dragons artifacts for sale? 

If you are interested, I have a life sized Chewbaca mask I am trying to sell/trade (for Billy Ocean or Lionel Richie memorabilia).
Let me know about Chewbaca, but that isn't a deal breaker.  Billy Ocean items are really rare.

Lenny

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Lenny
about the dragons, the medium one never did have stones is it, the larger dragon has lite blue turquoise stones in it, do not know of there value, these are nice wooden dragons.
From your e-mail I do not know if you are seriously interested in the dragons, or just asking questions. I bought them in California from a dealer years ago, do not know weight, they are kind of heavy, made of wood, fragile to some degree because of carved points on them. Do not have any other Dragons for sale, I do not ship, only take cash when Dragons are picked up. I am not interested in trading Dragons or buying anything else.
If you would seriouly be interested in dragons, please give us a call, phone number is in ad. on craigslist.
If this is spam, please do not reply back as we do report all spam to craigslist.
thanks for you interest in Dragons

Tony

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Dear Craig,

Thanks for the information.  I am not interested in Spam either and I am not offering any to you nor do I want any with your dragons.  Would you consider these statues, figurines, or statuettes?  I don't like to call people because i have a severe stutter.  It's never been treated and many people think it is hard to understand me.  That and I have turrettes so I prefer to email because I can control myself when I type better then when I talk.  Occasionally these both come out when I type but I usually have more success typing then talking.  Where in California did you get these and do you know any history of the pieces?  The other question I thought of is what kind of wood are these made out of.  Some people carve these out of drift wood so that type can occasionally be unknown.

Lenny

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Hi Leonard,
This is Tony again about the wooden dragons for sale on craigslist, these were a gift from my parents, I only know the cost because we bought them at an Art show expo in California several years ago. The large one is rosewood, not sure what the medium one is made of but both are quality wooden dragons, These are the two companies I know that make these dragons, you can check them out on line and get an idea there of the cost of these dragons I have for sale, so you will know I am giving you the correct original cost of the ones I have. You may be able to order directly from these companies also and get your dragons from them shipped to you, which sounds like it would make it easier for you to purchase a wooden dragon, one company also allows you to design your own dragon and they will carve it for you with your design, these dragons are expensive, but well worth the cost. These are the two companies I know of:  Drangonlore53.com and by Balifurnish.com
Hope this is helpful for you, hope you find the right one for you.My dragons may not be what you are looking for.
I am using my mom's e-mail address as I do not have my own set up.
I do not have anymore information to give you.
I guess you called me Craig because dragons are on craigslist, but my name is Tony.

thanks ,

Tony

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Dear Craig,

I am really interested in this dragon on the attached file.  Do you have one of these dragons and if so would you be interested in selling or trading me for this one.  I like the website dragonlore53.com much better then your other suggestion.  Balifurniush.com was awful I can't believe you sent me there.  I would never buy anything from them.  I think they are Nazis or worse Muslims.  Well I do have a 87 Camaro Iroc Z so I am able to meet you to purchase you dragons if we can come to an arrangement.  Are you willing to take $97 for all 3 dragons?

Lenny

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Hi,  we would not be able to sell so cheap as your offer of $97.00, and we only had two dragons to sell. Sorry you did not like the bali site it was one of the companies at show in California, our dragons were bought from Dragonlore company.
I think this ends our business talks, hope you can find the dragon you are looking for somewhere, maybe Dragonlore will have the one you want
Tony
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Dear Craig,

Ok, are you interested in meeting me in the middle at $98.50.  For all the dragons that you have?  That is definitely my last and final offer for your dragons.  Also can you deliver them to my house?

Lenny Titacus

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my son Tony is not interested in selling you his dragons, please do not contact us anymore about the dragons !, thank you

Jingle Jangle

Recording Studio Jingle writer/composer/engineer for The PowerPlant MultiMedia Studios. This is a pro gig, MUST HAVE EXPERIENCE. Keith Urban has recorded with us so we're the real deal. Are you? Send your package ASAP. You can check out our setup at thepowerplant.tv NO CALLS PLEASE. I'm sorry but if you call, you will not be considered. Thanks for understanding.
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Dear Craig

I am writing in regards to your post for the Jingle writer. I am very interested in becoming part of the PowerPlant family. There are a lot of other ads on free classifieds websites that I have replied to only to find that it was not even a professional gig, and that I was not dealing with real experienced men of business. I 'm glad to know that this is not one of those free ads. I knew right away when dropped Keith Urban's name that you guys mean business, cashing checks and snapping necks, am I right? Let me tell you a little bit about what Tug Peters brings to the table. I have been writing my own jingles since about forever ago, I have a 1987 Casio music master keyboard which I have honed my self-taught skills on since the 6th grade, and I have engineered such acts as Ted from Ted's Carpet Barn, and the Leonard Titacus' EP "Lenny Tits sings Rod Stewart Karaoke in the key of Sexy." If you give me a company's name and product, I will whip out a jingle like BOOM!!! BANG!!! There's your jingle!!! Try this out:

"If you need a car cause your car sucks
Then shop this carlot and save some bucks"

Or I don't know maybe something like this little ditty

"You should eat our vegetables
because they're damn delectable"

That's the Holy Grail right there, nobody can rhyme vegetable, but I just did. And as far as music goes, imagine this little synthesizer masterpiece

A# F G C C A# D D G A# F...now picture that with a pre-programmed Rumba beat on the Casio...INSANE!!!

But I digress, I don't want to get the cart before the horse here, and give out too many freebies. What I would like to do is to set up a little face time with your staff, I'll bring in some cassettes with my solid gold classics, I'll bring in my Casio music master and whip out some new jams on command, and I'll collaborate with Keith Urban to kinda polish up his vox on some jingles. If you like what I have to offer then we talk contracts, salary, bennies, all that legal jargon. Just real quick though, I need to know, Are you 420 friendly? And can I bring my friend Joey Gladstone along for my interview? BTW I tried to call about 20 times last week, and your staff was extremely rude, I don't understand.

Regally

Tug

the Pat Arbuckle/Jimi Hendrix conundrum

Let me try this again! Someone flagged me on pictures and photos I guess they dont have anything better to do? My husband and I got alot of things from a friend of ours and he said sell these items if we wanted to before he passed away to help pay some bills! He told us this was Jimmy Hendrixs! I dont know for sure and if anyone knows who this is and are interested in buying this picture for$10 call 614-783-4630 it is glued to the slate and was eventually going to be glossed. I dont want to throw this away someone might really like this person and really knows for sure that it is him?PLEASE stop texting me stupid comments like"its Pat!"

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Dear Craig

I found your post and I may have some insight as to who your unidentified person is. You see just as I was flagging your post for removal, it hit me...The people who are texting you and saying that it is Pat are exactly right...it's Pat Arbuckle. I knew it couldn't be Jimi Hendrix because his image doesn't appear on film, no one has ever really successfully captured Jimi's likeness via photograph, he's like a vampire or an apparition. RCA records couldn't put him in magazines or even on the cover of his own album since he was un-photographable so they hired Pat Arbuckle a diralect and neerdowell to pose in pictures as if he were Jimi Hendrix. The most confusing part of this chapter in history, is the fact that RCA chose a black man to represent the caucassion red haired Jimi Hendrix. RCA later said that it was all an ironic joke and they thought that "Jimi's fans would be amused because they were probably all high on the weeds." If you in fact had a picture of a Red Headed fat man in a silk smoking jacket, then you would have something very desirable or valuable, however I'm afraid that's impossible. But the truth is that pics of Pat Arbuckle are a dime a dozen...hope this helps.

Tug

the Addam's Family

ADAMS family coat of arms from England.. Lion sits on crown over insignia which surrounds 5 stars.. Under this is the inscription: "Loyal au Mort" ( Loyal unto Death).. Then name, Adams.. Shield shaped plaque is gold color metal, designed by an earlier generation of our family about 65 years ago.. It is mounted on a wood plaque, which appears to be walnut.. The back side is finished and stained, with a small circular hook for hanging..
11" x 13" size.
Large coats-of-arms are selling up to $125 on the Internet.. Shipping weight is 5 pounds from zip 43209 to your zip
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Dear Craig

I am very excited to hear about this wonderful coat of arms. I am an avid collector of all things Adam's Family. Possibly my greatest find is a pair of Pugsley's gym shorts from episode #213 "Pugsley goes to Gym Class". I am curious as to how you obtained such a piece of cinema history. I like to imagine that you were a key grip or a gaffer on set and you snuck it out in your lunchbox, was this the case? Do you have any documentation authenticating that this piece is not in fact a reproduction? Do you have any interest in trading for Munsters paraphernalia? Have you ever watched the short lived GermanTV monster-family show "Ick Family ung Boobenstein"? I may be willing to trade Dr. Boobenstein's original hook hand for your coat of arms. However, I must say, I am some what leary since you stated that the c-o-a came from England, I am pretty sure that their geneology originates form either Transylvania or the 3rd circle of Hades. Can you verify this? Has this c-o-a ever been used in battle? Would you be willing to except payment in the form of oddjobs and yardwork? I look foward to your reply.

Tug

Lenny Tits loves Rod Stewart

(Another entry by our friend and guest writer Mr. Leonard Titacus AKA Lenny Tits)
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Rod Stewart collectable memorabilia

1) Autographed, professionally framed metal and glass, what appears to be an album cover, unknown of authenticity or any other details. $75
2) Large metal & glass framed poster - $10
3) Promotional New York radio station poster with image of Rod Stewart and Marilyn Monroe, approximately 10” x 36” - $5

Call Michael at (***) *** - ****

*********************************************************************************  Dear Craig,

I am suprised to see such a treasure on the site.  My love for all things Rod goes back far into my past.  I even had a dog that looked exactly like Rod although his name was not Rod it was Henry.  My favorite song is Maggie May and Henry's was Forever Young.  Henry passed away 3 years ago on February 14.  I miss him and our sharing of Roderick David Stewart. 

I think your set commemorated both my love of Rod and Henry's life.  I am really interested in the Body Wishes poster the most.  I am curious how large it is. 

Lenny Titacus

Illegal Painting

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Triple Play

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Why your parents hate you

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