Dirtbag Scheister

Dear Craig

I was really interested in the 2005 Chrysler Town & Country Touring van you listed on your Craigslist page...that is until I saw the price...I just did a KBB on one of these that only had 75000 miles and more options and they recommended $8900 if in excellent condition...You're asking $12995. Is yours in better than excellent condition, or does it shit gold bullion? WTF...why are you trying to pull a fast one on me Smokey? You're trying to play possum but this dog don't hunt, you got me? Please explain why you are such a dirtbag schiester.

Tug
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Hey Tug,

You may want to re-learn how to use KBB. The vehicle pricing you looked up was on Private Party. This would be someone selling it from in front of their home, someone that does not have the ability to run it through their service department and fix things that might be wrong with it. We, however are a dealership and have done all of this and this is why we charge Retail for the things that we sell. If you would have looked under the Retail portion you would have seen that the KBB pricing is well over 11000.00. This means I have negotiating room doesnt it??? Before you call people names you may want to know what you are talking about!!

Jason.

Btw if you had taken the time to read the ad you would have seen it was not Craig but Jason
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Craig

I'm not buying your excuses for one second... I smell a dirty rat. I use KBB all the time and I'm pretty much an expert at. Not to mention everyone that works in a service department is on drugs. They couldn't fix a pee wee football game. I think you're trying to run some kinda racket, my friend. I'm on to you and your price gouging schemes. You can't "negotiate" your way outta this one, bud. So you might as well admit that you're a scheister.

Best Regards
Tug Peters
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Expert,

If you were an expert you would have known that you were in the private party portion looking up a retail unit. Although I find this quite comical I am not going to argue about it, it is a mute point as I dont think you were really interested in buying a Van in the first place.

Good Luck,
Jason
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Craig

You are really beating this "private party" nonsense like a dead horse, I understand what you are trying to say but you really just sound assinine, my friend. I really didn't want to write you back because when I read your e-mails, in my head you sound like Moe Sizlack the homely barkeep from the Simpsons, and it's quite repulsive to read your words. However I feel that I must correct you so that you will not further embarrass yourself in future correspondence, it is moot point, not "mute point". A mute point would be a point that someone who does not (sp)possesive the gift of speech is trying to convey, like if the Deaf Dumb and Blind kid from the Who's "Pinball Wizard" song was trying to impress upon you just how bad ass he is at pinball, that would be a mute point, because he cannot speak. I found it quite comical that you didn't know the correct usage of that saying, especially when you were trying your best to be smug and think yourself superior to me. I also find it comical that a scheister used car salesman would think himself superior to anyone. So when can I stop in and test drive this Town and Country...I like the price.

Still wasting your time
Tug Peters
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Mr. Tug,

You must have tugged one too many times on your Peter while typing your last message. Your spelling and Grammar check on your computer missed one for you and is making you look just as ignorant as me being the scheister that I am. I have howver taken the liberty to copy and paste your mistakes so that you no longer make that same mistake in the future, I would not want someone to point out your flaws as you have pointed out mine. Thank you by the way.
" mute point would be a point that someone who does not possesive the gift of speech is trying to convey"
In the future you would want to say "who does not posess the gift of speech"
You can come in any time you wish to test drive the Van, just ask for Craig !
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Craig

You ever noticed how the words Touche and Douche are only one letter off? Touche' Douche.

Tug

The Gift of Eagle Vision

Denver CO

I have a 95 Eagle Vision for sale. It has 95 thousand miles on it, turquoise, runs smoothly,salvage title, just had all the oils changed on it. I'm selling it because we've had it for a while and we are having money problems. I'll sell it for 1100 or best offer.

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Dear Craig

I have to tell you, your ad was a bit confusing, however I am very interested in this "Eagle Vision" that you speak of. I have a few questions. Is the process of obtaining "Eagle Vision" similar to that of Lasix Eye Surgery? Or does it involve drinking the yoke of a fertilized egg? Is this rooted in Cherokee Nation witchcraft?Does this process result in night vision capabilities, or does "Eagle Vision" simple refer to a heightened sense of depth perception? Are there any side effects, such as, feather grow, unwanted and abrupt sqwuaking or screeching? When you said "it has 95 thousand miles", is that the max compasities of how far you can see, and is that the same for everyone? Oils? Is there a special lubricant that you must keep on your eyeballs, and if so how often do you apply and how much does that cost? What is your success rate? Will I have to register with the Justice League? If I have already undergone x-ray vison surgery, are there any contraindications for "Eagle Vision"? Thanks for your time, I will probably think of more things to ask you, if so I will shoot you another e-mail. If I don't hear from you, it's no problem, I'll try to e-mail you again and again, I think sometimes the intrawebs doesn't work right.

Super Friends Unite
Tug Peters

PS- what's with the pics of that crappy car? weird.

Mattress Royale

Some where in the tundra of Canada

hi there,
are u looking to get rid of one? i'm trying to find one but have no extra cash. (really) if yours is CLEAN and in GOOD condition, i would be so grateful to pick it up!

(no dirty/stained/yucky, bed bugs thanks.)
thanks, i'm looking forward to a good reply :-)
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Dear Craig

You are in luck my friend, I may have just what you are looking for. My name is Tug and I run a backyard wrastling clinic every sunday at my ranch, well not an actual ranch, you know just a one story house. We have quite a few extra mattresses. After a a few dozen pyle drives, and a couple ten or more suplexes, these things start caving in and flattening out. However they are great for sleeping on, sure beats the cold floor, which I'm sure is all you've got right now, right? Anyways, they do have some staining issues, because of the use of tiny razor blades and barbwire. I would recommend trying the late great Billy Mays' OxyClean for the blood stains. But I can assure you that there are no bed bugs, possibly just some body lice, ie: crabs, not sure if the OxyClean will do any thing for that, but if you drive really fast on the ride home, I'm certain that most of them will fly off. These things are totally free of charge, and when you pick one up, you can stay for a complimentary 1/2 hour wrastling lesson from yours truly. Hope to hear from you soon, If not that's cool, I'm taking the liberty of putting ya on our e-mail list, that way I can send you coupons for upcoming wrastling clinics.

Do ya Smell What I'm Cooking
Tug